Baby Sister turned one year old two weeks ago, and we've started having some battles of the will with her. It always amazes me how these little tiny humans can be so strong-willed! So far, it's looking like she may be the stubborn-est of our four. Help us Jesus! May we teach her to use this character trait for good, and to be tenaciously stubborn when standing up for truth.
However, it's actually been very encouraging in a roundabout way because I suddenly realized that we are NOT having these battles anymore with our boys. We did, in the past, with each one of them at various times, but now I cannot remember the last time we had to deal with direct, defiant disobedience.
This is not to say they are anything close to perfect. Instead of working on obedience ("come to Mommy!") we are training attitudes and character, and wow, it's a lot of work! There is still such a long way to go. Children are naturally selfish and sometimes cruel and they need much help to learn to think from another person's point of view.
But, at some point in the past our boys made the choice in their hearts to accept that Mom and Dad are the leaders of the family and it's not generally challenged anymore. Not only is this pleasant for us, but it's so much better for them! I mean, who really wants to fight that battle of authority every single day? There's great security and comfort in knowing the boundaries.
It's also humbling because we do not deserve to be in charge and we are no better or worthier than our children. We've failed them a thousand times with more still to come; but God gave us a temporary spot of authority in their lives and we seek to serve Him by leading them well.
This sort of training does not "break" our children's will - instead it gives them a will. It shows our children that they actually have a choice: they are big enough to choose to obey and they are not forever stuck in their little grumpy land of willfulness. This is empowering! There is no freedom or joy in disobedience.
My point in sharing this is that all those days and months and years of training and teaching and correcting and encouraging and consistent consequences really DO pay off! If you're in the thick of it - or starting another round, as we are - don't give up! By God's grace it will pay off and the fruit will be great blessing in your family for many many years to come.
Tomorrow is a new day and we continue to pray for strength and wisdom. It feels miraculous to see a small glimpse of fruit in spite of imperfect children and imperfect parents but it gives me hope that the best is yet to come.
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