The weather has changed, and fall is here in all its glory! One of the many reasons I love this season is that the public schoolers are finally back in school and we get the playgrounds and parks and museums to ourselves and it. is. glorious. I think every introverted mother should consider homeschooling for that reason alone.
Our school routine is working fairly well, with minor bumps and struggles which I have come to believe will always be a part of every year. We will never have a "perfect" homeschool year in which every child is in an "easy" stage and our schedule runs perfectly and Mom is fully rested or any of the other myths that I have told myself over the years. And that's okay! We press forward, as best we can, and the kids learn way more than I expect they should and I give thanks for each day that we are all together because I know it won't last. Eight more years and Big Brother will be graduating, which is both an eternity and also not nearly long enough. There is something about this season, with the shorter days and nearness of the year's end, that always provokes thoughts about time and how well or poorly we have been using it during the past year.
Mothers often complain about how fast time flies, and how they wish they could just "freeze this moment" or "never let them grow up," and I understand that beautiful ache of grieving for the stage that is gone forever while eagerly anticipating all that is to come. Yet at the same time, this clarity of sight that reveals the brevity of time is actually a gift that can encourage us to use well the days. When it's just you, you can forget and almost ignore the passing of time. From 26 to 28 to 30 to 32 you don't usually feel or look all that different and it's easy to imagine that this is how life always has been and always will be. But if you are blessed with a precious little babe at 26, as I was, you are suddenly, painfully, aware that time is racing past at a ferocious velocity as your baby turns into a toddler who turns into a little boy who turns into a child who turns into a pre-teen whose feet are as large as mine with four younger siblings and wow, what just happened here? Life is short, time is precious, each day is a gift, and I can't ignore those truths with children growing like weeds before my eyes.
We had a recent interaction with a stranger who found out we were homeschooling and replied with, "Oh, I could never do that!" We hear this frequently, and it always bothers me a little because it seems to either assume that I am more intelligent than most parents (not true), or more patient than most (definitely not true), or that homeschooling parents are a "special" breed and it's simply beyond the scope of most lowly commoners.
I think what they mean to say is something like "I don't want to do that" or "That wouldn't work for our family" (which is one hundred percent legitimate, by the way - please, please don't force yourself to homeschool if you don't want to!) but I would like to go on the record and say that anyone who wants to can homeschool their kids... and even do it well. There's a myth out there that imagines teaching your kids at home to be the same as teaching thirty other kids in a public school and it's just not true. It's fair to say that there are hard things about homeschooling, and it will require some work for the parent, but at this point I think it is far, far easier than having five kids in public school in five different classes with five different teachers and trying to keep up with all of the homework, assignments, projects, events, paperwork, and fundraisers that go along with that. Plus, we'd have to get everyone out of the house every weekday morning! Fully dressed! With lunches and snacks! I am exhausted just thinking about it.
If you are wondering if you really have what it takes to homeschool, here are a few questions to consider. (Spoiler: it's not about money, or intelligence, or knowing all the answers, or being able to teach algebra, or even having all the right "school supplies".)
Can you read really good books with your kids and then talk about them?
Can you pick out a math curriculum that you think your child won't hate? Can you do just a little of this math, most days?
Can you take your kids to the woods or the park or the zoo or the nature center?
Can you give them plenty of unstructured play time (without screens)?
Can you guard their free time so that they can pursue their own passions and interests?
Can you cook with them, play games with them, fix your bike and clean the house and shop for groceries and write letters and talk about politics and help your neighbor and go to church and plant a garden and live life with them?
If you can, you can homeschool. Kids don't need much more than this.
If you are curious about homeschool, or drawn to the idea, please don't let an over-complicated idea of what's involved scare you away. Homeschool can be hard, but so can public school. You might be surprised at how much smoother and easier your days would be at home!
Actually, if we want to take this a step further and possibly step on some toes, I would take those same questions and pose them to any public/private/Christian/normal school that we might consider for our children.
At your school, do you read really good books to the kids, and then talk about them?
Have you picked a math curriculum that (most of) your kids won't hate? Do you have the freedom to change it if it's not working?
Do your kids get time in the woods or at a park or somewhere outside on a regular basis?
Can you give the kids in your class plenty of unstructured play time (without screens)?
Will my child have free time to pursue their own passions and interests?
I hope some schools do these things. I wish all of them would, and I am sure there are many excellent, caring teachers who do as much of this as they are able! Praise God if you've got one. But my gut feeling is that these are not priorities in the educational system and that even the very best teachers are greatly hindered by a system that serves the school boards and the textbook-makers more than the children in its care.
Finally, I can imagine some people protesting that this list (outdoor time, read alouds, free play, etc) is the parent's responsibility, not the schools'. Fair enough. In that case, I would ask the school, Do you have a shorter-than-normal school day so that parents have plenty of time left with their children? Do you refuse to assign homework, knowing that it's basically worthless and consumes valuable family time? Is your school atmosphere saturated with the truth that character is more important than test scores and that there is so much more to life than admittance to the best colleges? It's easy to read those words on a motivational poster, but I've never been in a school that actually believed it.
And really, if reading good books and exploring the beauty of the world are not the schools' responsibility... what is? Are they encouraging children to appreciate wonder and goodness and truth? Are they raising teens who love and think and care about something more than just themselves? Are they forming good habits and excellent characters? Are they teaching children to think and act rightly? Are they leading children into a deeper knowledge of God and all of his marvelous creation?
This is what I want from an education.
We are certainly not doing it perfectly, and as I type that list I am acutely aware of how far we remain from this ideal. However, I also know that for our family at this time, the best place to learn this is at home. Knowing what we want from an education and where we are headed is half the battle!
Speaking of battles, our recently-turned-one-year-old has yet to sleep through the night consistently, and I won't be blogging more often than once a month until he does. Children have a marvelous knack for disrupting the best-laid plans, which is I need to remind myself is absolutely fine, because they are absolutely more important than my to-do list, and they won't be little for very much longer.
"So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12
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