I chose this blog title because we want to teach our children the importance of serving others, and (more importantly) model that mindset in our own lives. I wrote about this once almost three years ago, but it hasn't been in the front of my mind as much of late. LIFE has gotten in the way, and we've added two more children since that post was written! Anyways, I feel that we have been slacking on this idea lately. To be honest, we are still slacking on a whole lot of things when it comes to parenting and school and general life management. Even though Baby Brother is going on five months old, many days still feel like survival mode over here - maybe you can relate! Whether it's the first, or the third, or the fifth time around, adding a new person to our family disrupts our routines and well-laid plans. Children are an excellent means of humbling us and showing us our deep need for God's grace - and this is a good thing! Plus, they're cute.
I know our life will settle down, we will find our groove and he'll eventually sleep through the night and I will be able to stay up past 8:30pm again without feeling like my eyeballs are going to pop out of my head... but today is not that day. I know I'm not the only one in this situation, but some days right now are so busy that it's difficult to find a free moment to do luxurious things like BRUSH MY OWN TEETH.
In case you don't know what I'm talking about (or maybe you know exactly what I'm talking about but you still enjoy reading "Day In The Life" stories of other moms), a few weeks back I wrote down a list of everything I did one morning - to save for posterity - and I will share it with you here.
Four Hours In the Life of Mom & Co.
- 6:40 Baby wakes up, I do too - time to feed him
- 7:00 change his diaper and clothes, then savor a few minutes of a quiet house & sweet baby babbles
- 7:10 oldest boy is up; I get a few sleepy snuggles with him
- 7:20 two more boys are up; put Baby in the Exersaucer so he won't get stepped on or tripped over or hit in the face with small metal vehicles or otherwise Horribly Injured
- 7:25 make some tea for myself, get out the breakfast things and listen to detailed accounts of What Everyone Dreamed About Last Night; realize I haven't had enough caffeine yet to follow these elaborate plot lines
- 7:30 help Big Brother start a project he's been begging to do
- 7:45 put the baby down for a nap
- 7:50 help Big Brother with his project again
- 7:55 baby is crying - go give him his pacifier
- 8:00 boys start eating breakfast
- 8:00 go check on Little Sister - she's still sleeping, amazing!
- 8:05 start making a grocery list and eat some breakfast; wonder how in the world the house got so messy in just 45 minutes
- 8:15 Little Sister is fussing - time to get her up
- 8:20 explain to Little Sister that we're all out of Strawberry Cheerios and that she'll have to have Honey Nut Cheerios instead, and that no, it's actually not the end of the world
- 8:25 remind boys to clear their dishes and wipe up the water and/or milk and/or cereal they spilled
- 8:30 Baby is screaming, move him to his bouncy seat and pray that he sleeps
- 8:30 help Big Brother with his project again
- 8:40 everyone gets dressed; check to make sure that dirty clothes made it into the hamper
- 8:50 boys and I clear the cereal & milk, wipe the table so it's ready for school
- 8:55 help Big Brother with his project again
- 9:05 FINALLY BRUSH MY TEETH, whew
- 9:10 make lists of independent school work for the older two boys
- 9:15 call kids to the couch to read a Bible story
- 9:15 Little Sister pooped; stop and change her
- 9:20 read two books to the kids
- 9:30 Baby wakes up and cries
- 9:35 put Little Sister upstairs for her Independent Playtime
- 9:40 reheat my tea, assign & explain the older boys' school work
- 9:45 feed Baby again
- while nursing Baby: finish grocery list, coach the boys through their school work, arbitrate a few arguments, threaten to send them all to public school, relent and let them pick out snacks instead
- 10:00 help Big Brother with his project again
- 10:15 Baby pooped - stop and change him
- 10:20 brush my hair, finish my breakfast, ask myself if I got dressed - yes I did
- 10:25 get Little Sister up from her Independent Playtime
- 10:30 tell kids to get on their outside clothes so we can go for a walk
- next 15 minutes: pack up baby, zip various zippers, find missing mittens, tell Little Brother his boots are on the wrong feet, tell Little Sister her boots are on the wrong feet, gulp down the rest of my tea
- 10:45 get out the door, take a few deep breaths and savor the fresh air... ahhhhh
(not included are approximately 251,479 questions, requests to "watch this!" and continuous general chatter)
Please know that I am not complaining! This is our life and I love it and I am genuinely looking forward to reading this post in 15 years and laughing about it. Time is rushing past before my very eyes and I don't want to miss any of it - the good or the hard. Some days are easier, some are more challenging, and I do my best to find small breaks within the day if possible. Every stage of life will have its own struggles and joys, and I know that others (who might have plenty of time to brush their teeth and use the bathroom ALONE and drink a whole cup of tea in one sitting) have their own more difficult trials.
Anyways, all this to say that we haven't done a lot of direct encouragement/teaching about serving with our children lately. We did, however, do one small project that I wanted to share! We did this last winter too and finally made time to do it again: gift bags for homeless people.
We live in a large city, and when we are out driving we will often pass people standing at busy intersections with a scruffy cardboard sign asking for money or work. I can't give them work and I'm wary of handing out money to be used for who-knows-what purpose, but this is still an actual, tangible person in need of help that our children can see with their own eyes. Some of the ways we try to help others or give to charities is more abstract and "invisible" - which means it's hard for our children to understand.
Last winter when we first did this project, we spent some time discussing why these people were standing outside (in all weather!) and what they might need. It's an eye-opening concept for our children to think about: that some people don't have a home to live in! We brainstormed ideas of what kinds of things they might need and what we could do for them and discussed why some ideas might not work ("Mom, let's just buy a big house for them all to live in!"). Then we made a shopping list, bought our gifts, packaged them into bags and stuffed them under the seat in our van, ready to be handed out. The boys have been active participants in every step of the process and I can see them scanning the intersections as we are out driving, looking for someone they can help. There is real joy to be experienced when we are able to give of our own bounty to others, and I can see it in their faces when we are finally able to roll down our window and hand someone a bag, a smile, and a friendly greeting! It's a beautiful thing.
If I'm honest, however, I sometimes feel a bit cynical about this whole idea. I've noticed the same person standing on the same street corner, weekend after weekend, which means they must be making some money off it. Then I start to wonder if their needs are real and their intentions are honest or if they just don't want to get a job. I have no way of knowing! We want to be wise with our resources, which is why we have chosen to not give out cash - but, for my children's sake, I also want to give them this hands-on opportunity to see a need and meet a need. Maybe when they are older we will be able to find other helping opportunities that are more thoughtful and nuanced and effective, but for now, this is simple and manageable.
And frankly, if I have to choose between being too generous (and occasionally taken advantage of) or investigating each recipient's credibility (and consequently giving less, less often) - I will always choose the former. The Bible says it is more blessed to give than to receive, which means that no matter what this person chooses to do with our gift, we - my children and I - have already received the greater blessing.
"So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone."
Galatians 6:10
Comments